I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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