the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
