whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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