I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
