why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
