Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
