i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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