loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
