R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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