He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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