Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
