Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
