The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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