There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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