Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
