It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
