Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
