i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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