Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
