I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Randomize
