Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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