just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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