Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
