But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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