I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
