U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
