It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
