he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
