Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
