i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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