So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
