I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
