friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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