Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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