I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
