at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
