There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
