My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
