? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
