either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
