coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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