drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
