I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
