FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
