You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
