Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
