Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
