Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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