Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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