I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
