:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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