but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
