what day is it and did you see me today?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
