Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize