So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
