so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
