i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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