you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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