I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize