Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
