are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
