Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
