Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
